Confessions of an Addict [41]: Lonely Reader


I’ve been lucky enough to have married the most indulgent husband in the world. He understands my passion in everything. All through the years that I’ve known him, he’s always been receptive of whatever it is that’s got me salivating. In some instances, he’s able to share my passion. Case in point, Kings of Leon. If the band is on tour, he finds an unchartered US city where they’re playing and would book us a jaunt for that particular weekend. I’ve also shared his passion for the San Diego Chargers. For a weekend in September or October, we fly to California to see them play.

But for the last few years, I’m all about the books. You all can attest to this. As much as I love him for doing everything he can to help me prosper in my latest obsession, there is one thing that I want us to love mutually, and that is reading. Don’t get me wrong, he does read. He’s just more interested in current events and sports rather than fiction. I asked him once what was the last book he read and he sheepishly replied that he couldn’t remember.

A few weeks ago, I tried to get him to read The Passage by Justin Cronin. I thought that if I can find something that he could perhaps like, it could possibly stir up his love of reading again. When he was a boy of 6, he’d read comics and the newspaper. He’d tell me that he used to save his allowance just to buy comics on the weekend; and that he used to split the newspaper with his dad. I suppose that’s where his preference for current events originated from, and that he now have a pretty good collection of comics to bestow on our son.

I share all my frustrations and gushing about whatever it was I’m reading with him. I tell him when a book is “shit” or when a book is the “best thing I’ve ever read”. Sometimes, I’ll  voice out my annoyance with a character who can’t seem to use their head in the book. Or he’ll acquiesce with me when a certain plot point doesn’t make sense. But even with all that, I still wish we’re able to debate about it all; when he can agree or disagree with because he read the same book. I think it would be nice to that. For someone to bounce ideas with.

One time, I just about ripped his clothes off because he mentioned reading The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams. I think I said, oh my God, baby. You’re so hot right now. I mean seriously, is there anything hotter than a well-read man? I am keeping my hopes alive that someday soon, when we’re both retired and old, we’ll be sitting on our own rocking chairs and enjoying the silence in the company of our books.

 Is your partner/spouse a reader like you? 


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  • Ahaha how I do love this post! I would answer that question, but as a 16 year old teenager I am afraid I can’t xD I do have an older sister who reads a bit, and a younger sister who does as well. They definitely don’t read as much as me and we aren’t always into the same books but when we are, we can talk about them for hours and that makes me happy. And if I ever feel too bookish-lonely there is always someone in the blogsphere I can talk to 😀

  • “One time, I just about ripped his clothes off because he mentioned reading The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams.”

    I belly laughed at this. Lolol

  • Aw, I love this post Joy. You are amazing. <3 And your husband sounds like the best man 🙂 I hope he will end up reading much more soonish ;p I don't think I will ever get married. I'm 22, haven't had a boyfriend before, and no way of seeing anyone either :p but I'm good with this 🙂 Me and my books are the happiest alone, lol 🙂

    • Aw. You’re still young, hun. And good! You should be happy with however you want to live your life. 🙂

  • I used to have the same problem with my boyfriend. I adore him, but I would so love to discuss books with him!
    The saving grace came when he discovered audiobooks. He’s a slow reader and he’s never going to enjoy reading from a book or a tablet, but he loves listening to audio books. And that is how we solved our little problem 🙂

    • I think the very idea of reading/or listening to a book makes him think it’ll bore him to tears. I kid you not, getting this man to watch a movie with me is like pulling teeth. He just can’t sit still for hours at a time.

      • Even a movie?! Okay, I have no words. My boyfriend is a movie fanatic so maybe that’s why he clicks with audio books. I hope you find a solution! 🙂

        • Or I can just stop wishing and hoping for something that will probably not happen. I’m oddly okay with him taking me to the bookstore. Lol.

  • Aw. I can understand that you want to discuss things on a more intricate level than you’re able without your husband having read the same books as you, but it sounds brilliant how supportive he is- I’m so happy you have someone like that in your life, Joy. One day perhaps you’ll get him onto Pride and Prejudice. Have you recommended him any graphic novels? Maybe they’d appeal to him, since he used to read comics?

    As for me, I don’t have a lover to share my passion for books with (I was laughing as I wrote that, I note)- my dog, Kasta, she’s kind of like my own family that I am solely responsible for, and she prefers to sleep whilst I read. At least she lets me read, though! xx

    • Huh. I’ve never thought of that. Graphic novels are longer, more detailed comics, aren’t they? Maybe he’d like them, too. Thanks, Romi!

      Also, the word, “lover” always makes me giggle. xD

      • Yeah, kinda. I think there are some differences in layout, but as far as I know that’s basically it. It’s worth a try!

        That’s like my sister! She’s incredibly shocked that it’s my preferred choice of name, even if I find it amusing. xx

        • Sigh. No dice. I think I’m going to stop pushing him. I’m happy with him supporting my vice. 🙂

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  • My partner prefers to read manga or watch Youtube rather than read fiction books like me. He does read maybe 3 books a year though, most recently I got him onto Brandon Sanderson and he devoured the whole series. He usually prefers reading those Warhammer books which are SO not my thing lol. But yeah, it would be nice to have someone who I could bounce ideas or talk about a plot to.

    • I feel like such a heel for complaining about it, considering how much he’s done for me to encourage my love for reading. And as much as it is nice when he listens to me rant or rave about a book, sometimes, I need him not only to absorb what I’m saying, but I need him to offer his opinions.

  • When I got to the end, it was a legit “wow that escalated quickly” moment.

    Like it is with most mediums of entertainment that take precious time to enjoy, you just have to find that one thing to nudge them forward. But it’s also their willingness to give it a try; a balancing act of sorts I guess. If anything, you can start on your son! Comics from pa and fiction from ma–picture perfect, right?

    • Lol.

      And so true. Though, I’ve found out this past year that my boy prefer facts over fiction. He doesn’t like story books, he’s more into books like National Geographic and such.

  • My husband reads, but he doesn’t (unsurprisingly) share my love of romance. But we do both love urban fantasy so we’ve been able to share and discuss Kate Daniels, Mercy Thompson, The Others, and The Iron Druid Chronicles. It is so much fun when your mate shares your passion! I bet your husband would enjoy The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne, especially if he liked comics. It has a lot of action, mythology and is funny as hell! I listened to the audio books (my husbands reads the series) and it is one of my favorite series. The narrator, Luke Daniels is AMAZING! There is a romance but it take up until book 5 or 6 for it to be realized.

    You are lucky that you share a love of sports and music, though! Great post, Joy! 🙂

    • You’re lucky. At least you can talk to him about those books. I really doubt i. He can’t sit still to save his life. Lol.

  • Wow, I didn’t realize that so many men didn’t read all that much. Granted, I’m not a very fast reader myself but that’s mostly because I tend to juggle a lot of projects. Still I guess my wife should consider herself lucky? I finally started reading her Drizzt books several months ago and she’s constantly asking me where I’m at, only to reply to my answers with something ominous like “Ooooh, you haven’t gotten to that part then yet…”. I think she is secretly thrilled that I’m slowly reading through her entire collection, although she probably wishes I’d be a bit faster. My wife has read a lot more than I have and definitely owns a lot more books. Although I’ve read quite a bit myself, oddly enough, most of what I’ve read has come from libraries. Only in the last few years have I started to collect my own books again.

    • Well, you’re lucky, and your wife is lucky. You both share a passion for reading, and you both read the same kind of books. You must’ve have some pretty interesting conversations!

  • HA! What a fun post! I know what you mean, I’m always trying to find that perfect book that entices my hubby into readership land of no return. Recently, I told him about a cool app that allows library card holders to download/borrow ebooks and audios. He actually came home yesterday and wanted to discuss a book. So – YAY. It was a sexy moment -LOL. Too bad the children were all hovering around 🙂

    • That’s awesome! What book? What does he like to read?

  • If all men thought sex was on the cards in exchange for reading, bookshelves all around the world would be bare.

    I have the same issue Joy. Hubster is a gamer, not a reader. When he comes home, relax and pick up a book. He HAS. But prefers not to. So now on the way to a from work, he listens to audiobooks. And ones that I’ve recommended. It’s glorious! At the moment he’s listening to Heir Of Fire, and we talk about it before bed usually. Where he’s up to and he even bounces ideas off me to where he thinks the storyline is going. It’s opened us up to whole new discussions too, where he asks what I’m reading and if he likes the concept, I put it next on his list to listen to next. Not only the Throne of Glass series, he’s listened to Ready Player One, The Hunger Games, the Divergent series, even Ember in the Ashes.

    Now when he stops by the shops for milk, he actually goes into the bookshop for me to see if there’s anything new out that I don’t have. I’m totally bragging now 😀 😀

    • When you’ve been married for 16 years and have known each other for 20, there’ll come a time when you eventually run out of things to say to each other (okay, not really). The very idea of reading books and discussing it with your spouse opens to door to a whole unchartered universe. Topics are varied, discussions will be livelier than usual! That’s all I’m saying.

  • “I just about ripped his clothes off because he mentioned reading The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams.” LOL. Love it. You would think that would be encouragement! And sadly, I don’t have any family or real life friends who love to read as much as I do. … Or at all, haha. Guess it’s a good thing I have a blog 😉

    • Oh well. To be frank, we were in the company of his family when I said that. His parents, included. So, he was really embarrassed. Lol.

  • Bwahahaha! I’m with Christy, tell him it turns you on that much and maybe he’ll see that as an incentive and get into it. I don’t think he’s into fiction, does he like memoirs or non fiction stuff, maybe that’s his gateway “drug”?

    I’d be so lucky if I end up with a reader. It doesn’t matter what he reads as long as he’ll build me a library and we’ll both fill it with books!

    • Oh gosh, no. I did give him a copy of Kama Sutra one Valentine’s day. He scoffed at it and said, “I’m a pro. I don’t need pointers.” Pfffft.

  • LOL – Does he realize if he reads more you’ll rip his clothes off? Maybe he needs to be made fully aware of the situation. Oh man, The Passage is the kind of book that feels slow in the beginning, but all that setup is absolutely worth it. Not only for the rest of the book, but for the rest of the trilogy as well. But anyway … Okay, I don’t do committed, but I have a … ‘friend’ who enjoys reading. We’ve been ‘friending’ for like 10 years now, and we’ve always read books together. I pretty much pick them now though. He’s read Wallbanger, Tangled, The Martian, You, in the past couple months because I told him too. lol. He liked them though. It definitely is more attractive when a guy reads, though. Even if it’s occasionally.

    • Hahhahahah! Love it! He’s read Wallbanger?! Christy, you must’ve some interesting ‘dynamics’ in the bedroom!

  • Patrick C.

    Yay! So excited that your coming to CA! You’ll definitely have tons of fun and King Of Leon!

    Happy Reading
    Patrick @ The Bookshelves

    • Well, we’re not coming now…our trip isn’t scheduled till October. Lol. And yes. Kings of Leon.

  • My significant other buys a lot of books, and maybe he will read bits and pieces of them, but he never finishes the books. He is a sucker for comics and graphic novels though, and I can respect that. Instead of pressuring him to read books like I read books, I’ve started to read some of his favorite graphic novels. Maybe one day he will make it through some of my favorites, like Harry Potter, but until then, I’m okay with just binge watching movies and getting excited about Batman comics.

    • My husband loves The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbits. But you’ll never get him to read the books. Nope.

  • Rachel D

    LOL I definitely understand the clothes ripping part, it’s rare to find a male reader, no? A guy I like said the word “protagonist” once (I didn’t know he was a reader) and I was a puddle at his feet. I recently posted about converting my dad into a reader, and he was ANTI reading before. Not because he didn’t think it was a good hobby, he just thought he didn’t like, or couldn’t enjoy, reading fiction, He was wrong, very wrong.

    • It is. It is. I found this picture of Pierce Brown reading with his black-rimmed glasses on, and yeah, I was liquefied instantly. Le sigh.

  • Teehee my boyfriend is Dominican so most of the time he prefers to read books in Spanish instead of facing the daunting task of reading them in English. He’s reading The Mortal Instruments now sooooo…. hehe but like your husband he mostly prefers current events and things. 🙂

    • Awesome! I hope he’ll love TMI. Love, love that series!

  • RO

    This is amazing! I just posted my blog about men reading romance, and I pop over here to say hello and you’re talking about partner love! How neat is that? For some reason in real life, it’s hard to find a ton of people who can relate to our love of books, finding mutual joy instead with other bloggers and reviewers who usually live in other states or countries. My hubby won’t enter into a discussion about a book, which I would love, but he does read a romance every month. The most I get is that he “liked it” or “it was corny”. lol BIG Hugs…Ro

    • My friends and family know me as the ‘book lady’. I suppose that’s better than being known as the ‘cat lady’. Lol.

  • My hubby only reads comics and I’m not sure that counts as reading exactly….. I tried to get him to pick something off my shelves but nope. I wish he read so we can discuss but at least he tolerates me gushing about books XD

  • I tried to read it, but it was so dull

  • Ha! So funny about wanting to rip off clothes. Me and hubby both read a lot, but our interests don’t overlap a whole lot. We both love HP, I coerced him to read Twilight with me, and he’s read Hunger Games and Divergent after watching those movies with me

    • I think that’s awesome. I mean, if you can get him to read Twilight, you’re better than the rest of us. 🙂

  • He’s a big reader but our tastes are really different. He hates Jane Austen (?!) and prefers political thrillers to gory mysteries. I’m trying to think of a book we both loved … and coming up empty. But that’s okay – I like your idea of the side by side rocking chairs.
    Jen @ YA Romantics

    • His hatred for Jane Austen is kind of predictable, isn’t it? I mean, show me a man who can admit to reading her books outside of school, and I’ll show you a brave man. Lol.

  • Jenny @ Supernatural Snark

    I wish my husband was more of a reader too Joy! Alas though, I don’t think it’s meant to be. He does at least allow me to fangirl at him or vent to him about the books I read, and he just laughs at me when he knows I’m reading something smutty 😉 My mom and my mother in law are huge readers though, so I have fun sharing all things bookish with them and I try and let my husband off the hook most of the time!

    • That’s all we can hope for. I do the same to my husband. He’s a sounding board, but sometimes, I wish he’ll sound back. Lol.

  • I agree that there’s nothing hotter than a well-read man. I’m not currently in a relationship, but one day I would ideally like to find a partner who reads in general. It doesn’t have to be the same genre of books as me necessarily. It’s an important quality for me because I really don’t have any hobbies/interests outside of reading, so it would make for some boring conversation if my partner wasn’t a reader and didn’t want to talk about reading.
    I have a blogger friend whose husband devours the same romance novels that she does! So lucky! 🙂

    • Me either, Nick. But I’ve known him all my life that I’d forgiven him that flaw. *winks* 🙂

  • Jazmen

    I can’t say I have this but I certainly hope to one day soon find someone who loves my passions and adores me for them. That must be really cool, even if he doesn’t always want to read the books you suggest/want.

  • I totally feel your pain. My husband is worse, though. He doesn’t enjoy reading of any kind and doesn’t understand why I love it so much. He doesn’t discourage me at all. He’s actually rather supportive of my reading habit but he doesn’t really “get” it. That’s why I started blogging actually. Because I had no one to gush to. Lol.

    • That’s one reason why I started blogging as well. I’m tired of not having an outlet to spew my opinions on the books I just read.

  • Maja (The Nocturnal Library)

    I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who read as much as I do, but then again, very few people in the world do. My last boyfriend was a reader, but it took him like a month for one book (admittedly mostly classics, but still) and that alone was so beyond anything I could understand that we discussed it at length and even argued about it. How can you read two pages, leave the book, then in two days read ten more and so on? I just can’t figure that out. 🙂

    • Yeah, I don’t think we can find a guy who can read as much as we do. Lol. We’re book fiends.

  • kindlemom1

    Mine is not a reader at all either and when he does, it is all about work or sports as well. I did manage to get him to read two H.P. books years ago but it was only because he was traveling overseas and the flight was super long and he needed something to do. *sigh* It would be so lovely to be able to discuss books with him in a passionate sort of way, I agree.

    • I don’t think I can get him to read a single book, period. So you’re way ahead of the game. Lol.

  • There isn’t anything hotter than a man who knows his share of art and literature, and absolutely well read and versed. ;D

  • Melliane

    lol maybe one day. My BF doesn’t read a lot but he reads. I think he is trying to do it a little more because I do it and he want to understand. But it’s funny he is so long, sometimes he needs 6 months to read a book and need to start again because he doesn’t remember.

    • Oh well. AT least he’s trying, right? 🙂