[460]: Evil Librarian by Michelle Knudsen

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GOODREADS SUMMARY | Candlewick Press | September 9th, 2014 | ARC Paperback, 343 pages | Young Adult | Paranormal | Rating: 2 out of 5 Stars


My husband, the sounding board.

So this is what happens when I’m not in proximity of another person passionate about books. My husband receives the brunt of the abuse. The poor man. I don’t think he can take any more of my hissy fits in the name of frustrating books, so I suggested all too sweetly that he invest in one of those noise cancelling head phones.

“Have you  considered reading from another genre?” He asked.

As if I haven’t been trying! I just…I really need to get out of this YA funk, or I’m in trouble. Because 80% of the books on my TBR are YA!

Help. Me.

It’s like Hellmouth, except…not.

Evil Librarian is the story of how satan found his own personal Hellmouth at the school’s library. What does he want? Well, besides total world domination, he wants food. And what kind of food? Not pizza, that’s for damn sure. Souls. He eats the souls of the students weak enough to be captivated by satan’s charms. Cynthia, for some reason, is immune. Her friend Annie, however, was not. Soon, and almost predictably, he started killing teachers. The human race’s problems  worsens when Cynthia learns that the doorway from hell to Earth is open like a 7-11. Between trying to save her best friend, preparing for the school production of Sweeney Todd, and trying to garner up the courage to talk to her crush, Cynthia also has to find a way to close the doorway.  But hey, I’m sure with a little bit of time management and determination, she’ll manage to achieve world peace and eradicate poverty before the year is out. This girl is buhh-sy.

I am not impressed.

First, I’d like to apologize for the glib tone of my review. I don’t know how else to write this without a serving of sarcasm. So please move on if you’ve had enough. Otherwise, keep reading.

What didn’t work for me here? Well, it wasn’t horror. It wasn’t even funny either. Romance? What romance? I felt like Knudsen kept putting her readers on the edge of something but doesn’t really come through for us. Like the ominous background music is on, indicative of the coming heart stopping scene only to watch someone…eat a banana.

There was a generous helping of swooning from Cynthia and Annie, but honestly? I don’t get it. Most of the time, Ryan (Cyn’s crush) was oblivious, and maybe even spacey. Because of that, I never really felt like there was anything resembling a spark between the two. And what’s with the overly contrived tension that wasn’t really there? It was just plain awkward.  The “hot” librarian looks to be in his twenties, but apparently, this has no bearings because, well, he’s the devil. And who gives a flip about laws, moralities and such? No one, that’s who. Anyway. Demon magic or not, that is just…gross. No matter how hot he is. Especially if he’s planning on making Cyn’s friend into the bride of Satan himself. Ick.

Why was Cynthia immune to satan’s hypnotic mojo, but the rest of the school is not? Beats me.

I can’t find anything redeeming about this book. Mostly, I thought it succeeded in stating the obvious: Demons are evil. The end.