A Day in the Life.

I took the day off today
Under the covers
I hid.
Lazy
Restless
Thinking about tomorrow
Thinking about a job
that I spent twelve years
of my life…working
until it’s not.
Do you ever feel like
you’re standing on the ledge
of life?
Scared shitless of what’s down there
frozen with fear?

I still woke up early
Or maybe I never slept
All I know is
when that alarm blared
at 5: 45 am
I didn’t want to move
didn’t want to leave my bed
So I made up an excuse
Can we just? Can I just?
Or maybe you can get the kids ready for school?
Because this bed feels very nice
very warm
Unlike what’s waiting outside
White.
Snow.
Cold.
Blech.

So I read this book
It’s about this man, you see?
He was on a train
…in Spain.
There was a backpack full of explosives
it was right by his foot
He was talking to his wife
non-chalantly gushing about
fluffy omelet
and jasmin tea
and tainted seafood
when this bag
just kind of
e  x  p  l  o  d  e  d
in his face.

“He had difficulty telling which came first:
his phone shattering against his cheek, his skin
tearing from his ribs, or the flames taking dibs on what was left.” 
– Prologue, Before Ever After

Sigh. I’m nostalgic. It’s a rare occasion but it does happen once in a blue moon. I think it’s this book. For the first time in a very long time, I purposely called in sick because I wanted to finish it so bad. It’s subtle but funny, lovely in its simplicity, educational – unintentionally and heartbreaking in the most profound way.