Confessions of an Addict (9) – What To Do In Case of Emergency.

Have you ever had one of those nights when the book you’re supposed to be reading lost its appeal and you can’t force yourself to read no matter how hard you try? It’s not like it’s a bad book; you’re just not in the mood for it.  So you turn to your bookshelf to pick another but there’s absolutely nothing in your TBR shelfves  that screams, read me! read me!
You stand there for a long time without the umbrella,  your fingers trail through each spine, while your forehead wrinkle in concentration as you try to remember a snippet or a gist of roughly what each book was about? And nothing is tempting because for some strange reason, the appeal of the books when you bought it the first time is just not there this time around.  So you start to panic; quelling that paranoid voice in your head and failing.

“OMG. What if I’ve recovered from my books addiction?”

“What if my appetite for reading is completely gone?”

“What am I going to do with all these books?!”  

OMG. OMG. OMG.

Heh. Highly unlikely.

Your husband, who’s been apparently watching  you agonize and fight an inner battle between a book about zombies or settling in for the night with a modern interpretation of Hamlet, interrupts your soliloquy with a stern voice. “Will you hurry up? You’re blocking the tv!”

You give him a glare using the extra pair of eyes at the back of your head, while the other set eyerolls in annoyance. “I’m trying to pick a book. Hold on to your knickers!” You spit back.

Minutes later you’re still blocking the re-run of the clusterf*ck game you witnessed on Monday.  You have no idea why he likes watching the highlights of your football team’s failure to –  well, win games.  It’s like he enjoys torture or something. Come to think of it, that’s probably why he married you – because he’s a sucker for pain. Anyway, getting off topic here.

In his inifinite wisdom, and in a condescending tone, he says, “This is why you should maybe STOP buying books until you have a manageable pile.” 
Yes, well. That’s not happening anytime soon, dear husband.
You held your tongue and a shudder. “Use the 6-4-9 system,” he says.

You look at him quizzically, like Mr. Darcy with the quizzical brow and indulge him for a minute. Because really, you just want to pick a book and it’s an even harder feat when he’s in the background yammering about some crazy Math system…or so you think.

I’d like to share to you what he suggested I do if ever I find myself in the same connundrum again. It’s called the 6-4-9 system.

  1. Count 6 books from your left. Pull out the sixth book.
  2. Count 4 books from your right. Pull out the fourth book.
  3. Count 9 books from the left again and pull that ninth book off the shelf.

Now you’re left with three books. You can either (a) pick the first of the three, or (b)the last of the three, or (c) pick the middle book. In the likely event that none of those books appeal to you, proceed to another shelf then start the 6-4-9 system again. Obviously, if you have a shelf specifically for serial books, this system will not work.

I’d like to point out that you’re probably not like me – fickle and a complete spazz when it comes to choosing a book.  I ended up  putting my initial pick back to the shelf and started the system until I eventually found that book that I was looking for.

Incidentally, my husband apparently used this system when he’d sit in front of a bar with his drinking buddies and couldn’t pick which hard liquor he’d want to indulge in. Whatever works. The good news is, he said he can’t remember the last time he used this system.

So based on this system, I ended up with these three choices: Falling For Hamlet, Passion and Patient Zero.

NOW READING: POSSESS BY GRETCHEN MCNEIL 
(See how fickle I am?)
  • “OMG. What if I've recovered from my books addiction?”

    LMAO! Sure… 😉

    This is a great post; really cracked me up. 😀 Hmm.. I'll have to try this system, but I have a feeling I'll end up picking something else. lol

  • Patient Zero. nevr heard of it b4 sounds great